The small important end..

This will be one of my shortest updates people, but my unstoppable uber long lines of essay-ish paragraphed-ish words will still plague your lazy blog reading butt kay..

So here's it.
The examinations are still in progress and i don't feel the slightest "Oh my tian, got exam" expression. So yeah.. it's worrying that I'm taking things too easily as they come. Other than that its VERY very annoying to have our class change to a position just next to the guys toilet. What did my class do to deserve this when i had dance practices?! It's so freakin' pleasurable.. -the smell. ESPECIALLY at around 11a.m. that's where the smell starts to shine. Sh*t style. Lately I've been laughing a lil' too much though i don't know why. You guys out there might think : "oh.. that's normal" but it's not. If you know me you'll know i don't laugh THAT MUCH. So either I'm enjoying life (at the wrong time) or I'm un-consciously emo. Have i told you people that can't seem to understand why they feel this and that annoys me? They do. But apparently I'm one of them now. lalalalala loli loli oh lollipop~

I guess this year has given me a lot of chances to do things, things that i love and the time to spend with those beloved. It's made me find favour in a lot of things i may otherwise just look past. Volleyball for instance has become second to my passion for dancing. It's also the only favourite that has allowed me to meet so many people in such a short event. Love it to the max..

As much as other things, drawing is right up my list. There's so much spare time that i involuntarily indulge in art too often this year. Exams are just another bugger that has me finding entertainment in drawing on the back of the test paper or on my hand (like girls do). Maybe i should take up sketching or designing..
haha.. just a thought..

Guess this starting Monday I'll have to join the drama practices again since my throat isn't clogged anymore. It's just been tormenting not being able to talk for the past four days or so. Now I'm so used to it I'd suddenly whisper at times..

This year will undoubtedly be very different from the next. Though not just becuz of the obvious examinations next year, but rather the time and freedom this year gives. The time and opportunity to try things has vastly changed part of my lifestyle. I know it's so cliche' and lol but it's true. I just hope i don't enjoy the freedom too much and neglect whats important..

Well..

I hope I'm not gone when you start to realise.. Love ya.

Hey folks..

So yeah.
This week's been just about okay. Having secondary dance practices because I'm dancing for both my own crew and another.. gonna have brain surgery soon. Multi-tasking is killing me now, cuz I've got an exam coming this Tuesday and I'm still involved with two separate dance routines and a drama play. I'm ACTUALLY worried about my studies for the first time.. everyone from my class is telling me to fail together lol.

Lately part of our SMF crew walked from school all the way to the 'nearest' Pizza hut restaurant. Which may have been either a kilometer away or less with the afternoon sun down on us. It might seem far but the girls insist that it's not so i don't know. It was fun though.. all of us having seemed to go high suddenly.. especially in the aquarium shop. Gawd i just love em'..

*Currently sitting in front of the computer with a Ferrero Rocher on the table*
Wondering why it's just there? haha..
I've had a sore throat for the whole day now, which coincidentally i was supposed to sing today with my church's youth at the old folks home somewhere in the Kinarut area. Go Garry.

Now it's so bad i can't speak. emphasis on can't. Only way to communicate? Whispering and doing freakin' hand signals that makes me look like I've had this condition for months. Yesterday i had a game of volleyball starting from 9 till 12 noon. With the heat toasting everyone (you should check me out by the way) and shadows failing to appear for shelter, i bought a coke and even ate some chocolates though my throat wasn't exactly happy about it.

This morning was the same. Worse still actually.. and i still i had fried chicken for breakfast. "pandai la kau" by Andie. Jadi kenapa? Siapa juga kau? ah *******

hahahhahaaa..

So the debate to eat or not to eat the Ferrero Rocher continues..

"Pre-examination stress in progress"

Still freakin' excited

It's been two days now since the volleyball competition for the guys. But..
I'm still freakin high on what happened. so yeah.. i can't really control myself. Maybe I'm still high from the bakat event. IDK. But something's surely got me looking forward to.. well.. i really don't know..

The bakat event, though I've said it before and we got 3rd, still gives me flashbacks on what ifs and buts.. and heck, Garry, it's over.
*currently having muscle spasm*

Four days ago, Monday, was the girls competition. The rest of the school had morning assembly and were required (forced) to group in the school hall. This gave us the perfect chance to miss the girls and not meet them before they left. But right after the assembly, i practically ran out till the gates to meet them and wish them luck. -though the girls lost, i still love them.. yeah.

I've heard quite alot from Eshley. Mainly Andie (Andrea), Natalie, and Mandee (Amanda) were the star players. Having good shots and having received shots nicely it just makes me feel soo freakin' proud. The type that i don't feel for myself. The girls were good overall..
There would've been nothing better.

Second day.
This was the day for the guys to compete and we were fooling around waaayy too much in the early morning practices. The competition was due at around 12pm as we were told. But 'we' played like it was months away.. arghh.. anyway, long as we all felt the enjoyment lol. Practice practice practice and soon we had to make a move on to the politeknik school by the school van, which was actually pretty puny for so many dudes that sweat... But before leaving.. we had to see the girls, the colours of our life. >.<
If only we did.

The drive was good considering i somehow enjoyed the ride. The girls called us through the public phone that was available back at school and gave us their message each, though i couldn't hear what they were saying even with the phone on loud speakers. We reached our destination and it was uber big. Impressed as we were, the van dropped us off next to a building that was supposedly the playing ground for the volleyball match.. excitement anyone?

Let's just skip this.

We first had a match with the teknik school. (sorry i have bad memory when it comes to things i don't find important) They.. in my own view.. were possibly beatable. But sadly at that moment our players were still getting used to the game. By players i meant i wasn't in. Yet.

We eventually lost it 2 sets straight, which means we lost two sets of games with them. With me on the outside of the box i was PRETTY pissed at our performance.. seeing that we could've won if we received the balls more properly. Dude beside me (Gavin) couldn't even help but yell at one of the guys. Me? i was angry and my hands were shaking.. sooo.. no need to wonder much. it just wasn't pleasant to the eyes. What to do.. no turning back liao..

We got out the hall and rested outside with the cool/hot air breezing by. Singing and joking together kept us lame and entertained until we realised we were hungry, which by that time we had no time to go (travel) to the canteen. Cuz it was far, man.. like.. i dunno.. 200 meters?!#$%

The next match was with Tshung Tsin. They might just get shot someday the way they slammed THEIR BALLS on the ground and letting them bounce way up high. JUST TO DO IT AGAIN. AND AGAIN. -signs of complete ignorance to be humble, they were showing the world how good they were at slamming balls.. so sad, wrong competition.

But either way.. Us Lok Yuk peeps just walked right through them. Interrupting them. Many other spectators simply gathered round the indoor space to support us voluntarily. For one, some of them were friends of Bob's. One of the star players in our team. Two, people were just sick and tired of the Tshung Tsin players being the ones that think so highly of themselves. BUT. The Tshung Tsin players were good.. so good they won us close with 11-15. Even the teacher expected less from us. But I'm glad and proud we did good. At one point some dude spiked the ball and it hit me square in the chest. Rest of the team gathered round, told me to chill, thought i wanted to kill. it rhymed lol. *boring moment*

After that we just waited and waited for the van to arrive. I couldn't wait to get back.. i really couldn't. The rest of the guys watched another school play, but i had other things in mind. At last the van arrived and all of us sweaty boys got on our ride and rode back to school.

The girls greeted us there and we made a campfire to tell stories. Eshley relived each moment through his words and actions so everyone else that wasn't there could feel what we felt first hand. And laugh.
To actually know the girls cried not being able to wish us luck before we left school was heart-wrenching.. and to know we waited for them so long was the same.

In the end we were reunited and we lived happily ever after. hahaa..
Sleepy Time.

This is how much i...

Sometimes.. things around me happen so fast. They happen to my closest friends, people that tell of how they failed, the times they couldn't find a way out. These things remind me of how much i can't seem to walk away from you. They show me, make me realise how i would be if you looked away. I've always kept it inside, afraid of losing someone as precious as you. I confess i've tried looking around to find something else that might make me ease out of this. But the harder i try to distance myself, the further i fall when i see you again. When the vault to my soul starts to leak, i suddenly feel as if i've lost something. I can't believe how i could just let you pass my mind for a year, and soon it was the next. Maybe this time i'd stutter if i even tried to tell you. I can't fake this anymore, I've truly tried to make you understand. But you just saw me through each year. Never able to break the wall that time made wider, never having the chance to show you. For so long i've kept this, only able to express through words..

how much i love you.

How we emerged...

This morning was full of excitement, knowing the competition was just 4 hours away.. Nothing could be helped.. all we could do is brace for what was to come.

So the story goes..
we won. *insert evil laugh*

Well.. at the start of the day there wasn't much confidence that drove us to dance with all our might. It was just hard to.. but we did practice with heart anyway.. and it payed off.. weeeeeeeeee~~ But somehow i found happiness in other things. For one, Convent Lost!! It's just logical that they did, and I'm not being against them, it's just the choice of 'movements' that they choreograph.. it has the surprising ability of stripping girls of their pride in being morally human. For other things, I'll leave you to wonder and ponder on... muahahaha.. Overall, Maktab got the first place (WTFudge), All Saints second (which should be 1st, you peeps deserve it, if not us >.<), and finally our school SMK Lok Yuk took 3rd, with the help of our crew "SILENT MOTION FAMILY".. and of course with that of "I killed My Witnesses Yesterday" 's efforts.

LIYANA YOU ROCK!! your performance was like a concert. Unbelievable skill with that voice. hahahaa...

The atmosphere at the theater of the competition was insane as it always had been. With lots of shouting and life. If i was old i wouldn't be there..
The seats were dominated by different schools, supporters and performers alike. The air-conditioning was what kept me in there..
Days are getting hotter here in Sabah, don't you think?

Now.. let's talk about the dance. I don't know who's in charge of playing the songs at the competition, but whoever it is isn't pleasing me cuz he/she messed up the girls dance right from the start. FROM THE START. The boys though.. messed up as soon as we started going into the first routine. Basically it wasn't our fault, we just didn't take into account that the cheers of the crowd would drown out the beats we used as reference to cue our movements. Quiet bah. And the fact that we used flour in the dance to make it cooler, has in fact made the dance floor slippery. No friction = Slip and fall.
Well.. not that we fell.. but it makes the rest of the dance harder for us to move from one spot to another, not to mention it FREAKIN' MESSED UP MY WINDMILL. Oh well.. I'm just satisfied everyone found time to enjoy during the event. It's nice to see people smile, you know. And you girls did well. Guys too.

Hmm.. random stuff.. let's see..
Xydro Family is kicking ass (donkey) if only you saw their performance.
I'll get more of those "Durian Waffles".. Andie loves em..
I will seriously dance until i get as good as the Xydro's. pfft.. dream on..
I'm addicted to volleyball now, if you haven't realised.
I have no idea how Lok Yuk will field students to compete at the Interact Finals next year, because there are no more people that i know of in Lok Yuk that dance.. well.. maybe there is.. but idk. yet.
I will deport the dude that stole my Hennessy Bag to the nearest station in he**.
I miss my Romp jeans and Diesel shirt that was in the stolen bag.
I want to have an encore of our dance, which we didn't perform 101% well.
I think beautiful is a beautiful word.
I freakin' love guitars and pianos, yet I'm learning how to play the drum.
I currently crave for chocolates now, seeing how long I've gone without them.
The studio in Damai gives me lots and lots of memories.
I think fainting is my hobby. Cuz I've been feeling so for the past three days.
Lastly and mostly desired...

I want to dance with all of ya again. SMF as one.

"We've made it through today. Took what was rightfully ours, and enjoyed every moment of it. Until the day we dance again.. I'll be patient." - SMF crew, Floyd. Azhar. Kamal. Garry. Daniel. Ricky. Steve. Andrea. Kathlyn. Jessica. Natalie. May. Amanda. Angelica.

Another big thing..

Tomorrow will be nerve-racking.
12th of April, 2009. Competition day of the Bakat Interact Club Organised event.
This will be where WE can take the title. We've all been waiting for this. Trained for this.

All the effort comes down to tomorrow, where everything we've done will contribute to the results we sought to gain.

Let's just take a look back at all the difficulties we've had so far. It's been quite a lot of both the painful and pleasurable experiences. We've had disagreements, arguments, inconvenience, give-ups, and even hatred at times. Then there's the moments each of us have laughed together, the parts where we completely agree with each other, and of course.. the support we have from each other.

Nothing can stop us now.

Just around the afternoon, we all agreed to the name Silent Motion Family. Isn't it just cute? with that planned, all we really really need to do now, is perfect the dance tomorrow. Each of the crew members have gotta arrive early. Then we'd run through the planning, make it sharp, make it beautiful. With both Azhar and Floyd missing out on today's most critical practice at the studio which we had at 10am. But it doesn't matter now, all we have to look forward to.. is tomorrow's perfection.

I can't help but think of what we'll turn up as... because being part of last year's dance at this same event and getting third place at that time, it didn't make any of us feel better. But we have the chance once more to dance again, and this time with unity.

As time closes in for tomorrow, i just pray God be with us, protect us, and give us the strength and confidence to win tomorrow.

Guys, it's been nice to go through practice trying out skills with all of you. Girls, it's been completely satisfying to share your hype and laughters.. Hope we can all dance together again.. maybe not now.. but i desire it anyday.

SILENT MOTION FAMILY...~
Finally SMC & XoXo become one. All for one, one for all.

Strangle me..

Today, i woke up early, specially, to attend the dance practice at a friend's studio.
So far our dance isn't doing so well.. by that, i meant we spend too much time fooling around (The boys, with me included somehow) and having volleyball practice (Brain exploding multi-tasking). Both these events are due-ed just one day apart.. and it makes for a really tight schedule to stuff both practices together and it isn't going smoothly.

The volleyball, though, is actually having visible improvements. Each of the players seem to grow in skill quite a lot (Amanda too!!) *gets hyped* and we're all starting to be able to predict movements and communicate with each other. Unlike the time before, where everyone just stood there as the ball fell between the two players that each thought the other was going to get it. Confusion lol. On top of that, we're having loads of ridiculous laughter. Even if it means burning up under the sun and turning blacker than i already am.

The dance however, is giving me less and less hope and confidence. Just look at the overall thingy.. it's barely done man.. the transitions aren't smooth, aren't synch-ed, the choreography isn't complete, and worst of all.. some of us are still taking it with humor. This ain't how things work la please.. anyway, the ONLY thing i see is imaginary ideas that don't go physical. well.. maybe a few.. but hey, time isn't what we've got. There's just two more final days before all is to be shown to the world. We can't afford imperfection, like seriously.

Either way.. It's still nice to see people enjoying themselves in this critical moment.. maybe that's what i learned through this experience. Now just go out there and do it with enjoyment, people. Love all of ya..

Secondhand Serenade - A Twist In My Story.

My desire...

Today is the ups of my life.
Things are just enjoyable. The first with me reaching school by bus, then I went up to class and there i conversed a Lil' with the brothers. Not feeling i had trouble ahead of me in the day of a normal class. Because it wasn't a normal day.

Each of the dancers have the authority and permission to skip class to focus more on the dance choreography. Since the competition is barely one week away from now, we need the precious time.

With that, i know i won't be in class when a teacher goes ballistic on the students and stuff. So i relaxed the whole morning, taking things as they go. Only thing ahead was the English oral assessment thingy. As a group we had to present the story given to us, in front of the class, of course. The teacher would then ask us illogical, insensible, and un-answerable questions to gauge how many marks we'd be given as individuals in the group. I guess the teacher came up with the questions on the spot and didn't have the answers to them herself. Cuz she stuttered while asking us them questions, so boring.

Our group was probably the best prepared and finished our oral in about 5 minutes, considering not many in our class were fluent with English. Anyways.. It was done.

Then i simply hopped out of class, and with all the things i brought in my bag i took a long stroll downstairs and to the school hall. That's where we usually dance. At the hall i met up with the rest of our crew and a short practice and run over was done. We then moved on to practice at the corner of the canteen, cuz the hall was gonna be in use by the primary students for their weekly assembly, also known in the real world as lecture.

Moved back to the hall again, and dance we did. wakakakakakaka. lol.
-certain signs of boredom-

After some heat all of us went out to the front of the school hall and we had volleyball practice!! (don't get me wrong, i still love dancing). This went on till after 12p.m., where we had the chance to rest for two hours. By then i had enjoyed so much sunburn that i practically played on until the real practice resumed 2 hours later. Tiring yes, fun heck yeah.

And for the past months this year had going for me, i have to say I've never been crazier in laugh mode than at the game. It was just so highly addictive and fully freakin' fun to still win though we lost by four points to three girls, which at that point it was already game point. All of us screamed our lungs clear of all the excitement and suspense of winning at the last possible moment. Maybe marriage couldn't even get me that happy... hahhaaa... right~~

blablabla and we finally got back home by bus, my favorite transport for getting home. O.o

And here i am after the uber fun moments, and Andie, you WILL get better. wait.. you already are.. heeeheee.. confidence la..

Difficulties..

I don't know how to start with this, because basically, I'm not in talkative mode.

So yeah, tomorrow we've got school. typical.
But i won't be having class though, Dancing is a temporary priority now. At least FOR the school. In fact i have no idea how SMK LY is gonna win the interact competition next year, but that's for the teachers to worry about.

Tomorrow I'll just have to hope no one blows up from the stress of all the decision making and choreography planning, and that includes myself. Because at this time it seems as if the devil's playing his part. Get lost.

Complaints. Arguments. Disagreements. Miscommunication. And no apparent ability to tolerate difficult situations is bringing some of us down. Maybe I'm one of them, and if i am, just give me a note of it. Cuz i want to know if I'm the jerk around here.

Anyway, today's Sunday.. and I'm trying to cherish what's left of it tonight. With hopes that tomorrow and the rest of the week God will be watching over all of us dancers.. Because the way i see it, Things are bound to go pissy somewhere. And thanks, you quit.

I may seem like everything's perfect and normal and crap.
But I'm angry beyond words. angry. what's the word for when you feel more than anger itself? pure anger perhaps?

Okay.. let's skip that.

Hmm.. Happy things: There is none. We're desperately out of time, and time is exactly what we need to restore the "everything's all right" moment. Disregard my last post cuz nothing is what it seems.

*Teddy Geiger - For You I Will - starts playing in the background*

And darn, music calms me down.

I'm so down in everything right now. But I'm not lost.. or confused. I thank you, God. That you've helped kept some of us together. Because the strength within a team is what we need now. desperately.

11.08 pm now, not many hours left till we go through obstacles again. Just try and hang with me.

I'm so clustered in thought right now too, can't think of just one thing at one time. Practically full of duties, thoughts, ideas, plans, worries, stress.. lack of confidence. Someone help pick me up, please.

I was so looking forward to the day this morning. Now i just want it frozen.

Well... .. .. let's see how it goes then..

Let's enjoy.

So yes, i'm content with most things right now. The teacher has not only accepted the girls in our group, she thinks it's nice. The best part? we didn't even have to ask her what option she chose (SMC with or without Xoxo), she actually forgot that she was supposed to choose between the two options and simply acted as if we were meant to be in the first place (read "The Final Word, But Not The Final Breath" for more understanding). So that's one serious stresser down.

Right now we've got to plan the rest of the dance because the teacher said so.. a few modifications to the choreography and extentions here and there should make us looking fine. Only problem? we have exactly 8 days left. ------8 days!! do you know how fast we have to crap ourselves?! and we're not even gonna use every single one of the eights..

The pressure's on, cuz we ain't done stuff like 10 minute dances and prepare them in what.. less than one week? it's pure fantasy~ but still, we gotta take the time for the volleyball practices as well.. It's just as important. And it's just a day after the dance competition. wow.

I've got less time to write than expected. The sleeping feeling is creeping in.. I'll write in soon enough. Thanks goes to the Lord.~


-For.You.I.Will.-